I want to stay your partner forever,
by nelliskinkyinbed
Summary: You remember when you first used it, she had screamed, cried and yelled for two hours, she had been in the denial stage. You had just grabbed her tightly against her fighting and rock her as you sunk into the couch. She had cried all night and again the morning after; when she had to meet Hetty, and resign.


**This is a sadder story that i wrote a while ago and i put on tumblr, but I really wanted to put it on here and get your guys opinions**

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She's holding your hand tightly and you never thought this day would come. You can see a tear forming in her eye and you kiss her hand, it's like reassurance. You catch her hazel gaze and a lump forms in your throat, you could cry. But you made a promise and you're going to keep it.

"Eric," it's less than a whisper, you think she might have telepathy, no one else would be able to hear it, there's also a hitch, and your chest tightens as you move closer. You place your other hand over her shaking one and you remember how at first her skin use to be warm and how they only shook when she cried. It was all worse now.

She shifts over in the bed and you want to refuse but she looks so desperate for someone to hold her that you can't. She's your partner; it wasn't supposed to end like this. But it was and you were going to do everything to make her feel at ease.

You slip in beside her, your arm wrapping around her fragile body as she clings to you. Her head is buried in your chest and you can hear her sobs, none of it was fair, she didn't deserve this, you wanted to yell at the doctors, you had yelled at them before, but Nell was the one that told you it was pointless.

But you still wouldn't cry though, not when she told you the chances, not when the doctor confirmed it, not when you were told how long she had, _never _when she cried. Because she needed to know you would keep her safe until the time came that you couldn't anymore. You would just rock her slowly and hum in her ear, not a particular tune just something you thought would calm her.

You remember when you first used it, she had screamed, cried and yelled for two hours, she had been in the denial stage. You had just grabbed her tightly against her fighting and rock her as you sunk into the couch. She had cried all night and again the morning after; when she had to meet Hetty, and resign.

The action seemed so familiar now; expect now you don't have two months anymore, you had at the most a couple days.

"I don't want to go, Eric, I want to stay here with you."

You kiss her head, "I know you want to stay, I'd do anything to keep you here, you know that, sometimes we can't fight it; we just have to take what comes," it took all your will not to cry.

"I don't want you to get a new partner, I want to stay your partner forever," her voice is soft now, so you hug her tighter to know she's there.

"No one can replace you Nell; you're the best thing that ever happened to me."

"I'm sorry I put you through this all, I'm sorry you have to be with me now."

You can feel her grip on your shirt getting looser, "Right here, holding you; is the only place I want to be right now."

She sniffs and leans her head into your chest, "You're just saying that, I know you hate being here."

You rub her back, and you can feel her breathing slowing, "Of course I hate it, you're my best friend and these are the last moments I get to spend with you, but you should never spend them alone and I know you want me here, so don't be sorry."

She was silent for a few moments, "I love you Eric," she breathes out against him.

Your throat closes because you know what that means, "You can't say that not yet, you can't give up just yet, you need to stay awake and talk with me, like we use to," you beg. You don't want her to go, it was too soon, you want her to punch you, yell at you, anything. "Nell, Nell please," she no longer has a grip on you; her arms are just draped over your sides.

You shift back, you brush her hair back and stare at her face; she looked at peace and it tore your heart in two. "Nell..." you pull her limp body back, your forehead resting on hers. "I'll always love you Nell," you rock her, hum in her ear, and were finally allowed to do something.

You were allowed to cry.


End file.
